The Random, Funny & Just Plain Weird . . .

As with any family trip, there were plenty of memorable moments that will keep us laughing (and wondering) for years to come. Here's just a small sampling:

• Unload Your Weapons

Will, Charlie & I spent a day and a half in New York before the rest of the crew met up with us to fly to Madrid. Knowing we would spend our full day in NY exploring Manhattan, we decided to stay close to our hotel on Friday night, near the JFK airport. We asked the hotel desk where we could find a restaurant to eat in and that's how we ended up being dropped off at the Green Acres Mall by our taxi driver. Let me give you a visual picture of this Mall: only half the lettering of the Macy's neon is lit up and the display windows are boarded with plywood, crumbled piles of gravel lay where there should have been sidewalks, chain link fences enclose all buildings not directly inside of the Mall, tons of really young looking kids wearing gold chains around their necks are wandering around unattended, and the only place we felt safe eating in is an Applebee's. Still feeling brave, we decide to try and see a movie. The theater is so packed with kids (again, no parents in sight) that we can hardly get in the door. Then we realize that we're standing in a massive line to get through metal detectors and that large signs are posted everywhere stating that all guns, knifes, and metal objects must be left behind. Yep, we watched TV in our hotel room behind the bolted door instead.

• The Brooklyn Bridge!

It was fun to show Charlie New York for the first time. He had also never been on a Subway system either. When we approached the grimy, graffiti-covered above ground Queens train station that would connect us downtown Charlie looked up in awe and exclaimed, "Wow, the Brooklyn Bridge!" If only we were all so easily impressed!

• Third Times The Charm

We flew Iberia airlines to Spain, which Will's parents have flown on twice before. BOTH times Iberia had lost their luggage, leaving us to hope that there was no way such bad luck could continue. One by one everyone in our group of eight got all of their luggage--except for Bill & Christy. Iberia seriously has it out for these two!

• Flip Flops, A Baby Bjorn & the Subway Station = A Dangerous Combo

Baby Max was the most well-behaved four month-old traveling baby I've ever seen or heard of in my life. He caused about as much inconvenience for the group as bringing along a Cabbage Patch Doll would have--it was amazing--even sleeping through the night despite an eight hour time difference! However well-behaved though, it's still hard to see your feet when you have Max strapped to your chest in a Baby Bjorn. This is how Tori got munched by a subway gate her first ride of the trip, resulting in the loss of half of her toenail. She was understandably wary of the subway gates for the rest of the trip.

• Are We There Yet?

We're still not sure how that four hour drive from Barcelona to Alicante turned into eight hours, but at least we got to see some amazing castles throughout the countryside (plus Tori and I had the awesome combination of cheddar cheese Pringles, Hot Tamales, and tropical fruit flavored Trident to sustain us). Despite getting lost a lot, by the end of the trip Will proved his skills as master map reader despite the crazy roundabouts, one-ways streets, and driving on the right-hand side in London.

• L'espluga di Francoli - Try saying that ten times fast!

The unusual name of this Spanish city caught our attention on the road signs and we had a fun time saying "L'Espluga" in all different kinds of accents and voices. From there the word became our favorite all-purpose noun, as in "What's that in your paella?" "I don't know, maybe a L'ESPLOOOOGA!"

• Christy Desecrates Holy Water

We saw a lot of Catholic Monasteries in Spain, few with active priests anywhere in sight. This wasn't the case when Christy decided to stick her hand in the holy water and start flicking it at us. While she got a heated berating in Spanish from the resident Father, we quickly tried to make our exit.

• Horny Devil Mishap

When we got to our condo in Alicante it quickly became obvious from the decorating that the owners were "of the other persuasion," ie- male Roman warrior plaster busts, red silk curtians framing the hallway arch, and these lovely plaster figurines of the Horny Devil & Super Stud. When Bill attempted to point out these beauties to us he accidentally knocked the Horny Devil onto the Spanish Tile floor, shattering it into pieces. One tube of superglue later, the Horny Devil was almost as good as new.

• Sam Detained As A Security Threat!

Sam had to fly separately from the group from Madrid to London. London has a very through security screening process and apparently a young man with a one-way ticket to London, no employment, and no money, and a story about being a missionary for two years is suspicious enough to detain. It didn't help that Sam didn't know either of his parents cell phone numbers either (again, the "story" about being away for 2 years!). Finally we heard "Will the parents of Samuel Jordan Bollard please approach the security desk" over the PA system and things got straightened out!

• Maybe It's a Wig?!

Our flat in London had some "unique" features, but Tori was lucky enough to discover the most unique of them all. Noticing something sticking out from under her bed, she reached down to pull it out, believing it was something she had dropped. Instead Tori found an entire grocery bag stuffed full of dark brown hair . . . . EW!!! Luckily this was the day before we left so we didn't have time to make any more discoveries. Somehow I don't think this was a "locks for love" project, but we can hope.

• We Miss Our Flight!

It really wouldn't be a Bollard family trip if there wasn't at least some threat of missing, or actually missing a flight. On the last day of the trip we missed our flight out of London by three minutes due to some misinformation given to us by an airline employee who convinced us that it would be quicker for us to take the airport subway system over to our correct terminal, rather than drive our rental cars over. So, while Joe & Bill returned our rental cars, the rest of us (baby Max in tow) hauled all 14 pieces of luggage through a huge subway station and airport. Once we realized it was taking too long we started to run, practically re-creating the scene from Home Alone. We seriously must have looked half-crazed! The only silver lining of missing our flight (because it was costly and frustrating to fix): we ended up on a direct flight that got us home three hours earlier than previously scheduled!